Painful Echos to Sweet Symphonies

It's been a year.

A whole year.

To start out with, things are going really, really well for me and Sweet S as we adjust together to life outside of pregnancy.  I've had an amazing amount of help from my dear husband and wonderful mother-in-law and that truly has made all the difference in the adjustment.  

Thank you to all who have been inquiring how I'm doing!

At the moment, the boys are with Grandma K and Sweet S is napping.  I now have a silent house and a moment to catch my breath and reflect.

Although I feel great and things are going beautifully, I'll be really honest and say that a part of me is still really healing.  And I'm not talking physically.  And I'm not talking about this past pregnancy.

It's been a year now since I began spotting and then miscarried.  As you know, since our loss last November I have become pregnant again with a healthy baby and even been able to have and hold this sweet miracle.

Surprisingly, this does not erase or lessen the deep ache in my heart still left there like a gaping hole for my other baby.

The beauty in this raw pain (if anything about this loss is "beautiful") is the depth of love, wonder and awe that is so much more present with each moment that I spend as I care for Sweet Baby S.

It's not that I didn't soak up the precious moments with T and P when they were brand new, but the love and thankfulness I feel this time around seems to reach much greater depths.

I will never understand in this lifetime why we had to loose our precious babies through miscarriages but I am ever so thankful we were provided another opportunity to hold, touch and fall in love with another precious miracle.

God is good.


REALLY good.

Even when we don't understand Him...

The painful echos from the past have not all diminished, however, the lovely melodies of the present are now resounding through our halls like sweet symphonies of joy.

~ Thank You, Dear Jesus for the precious gift of our sweet, sweet baby boy!