Sometimes it takes the form of wrestling a toy back and forth when the boys want the same toy and other times it's an actual, full-on wrestling match, (I'm sure you can picture 3 and 5 year old boys rolling around on the floor with the winner being the one who has the most endurance at the moment.)
Another kind of wrestling has been taking place for me since the time that T was born. This type of wrestling had me searching out the best decision for T's education. I've been praying, reading, talking with my dear husband, friends, fellow teacher friends, etc.
When T was born we lived in Georgia and had an incredible Christian school that was a part of our church. When God planted us there, it made my heart sing and rejoice to envision our Sweet T going to this school that is a beautiful balance of being academically challenging, while being Christ-centered and family-centered.
However, shortly after T's 1st birthday we were relocated, much more quickly than anticipated, back to the Northwest. We had a house built where it was affordable, however, quite a distance from my beloved private Christian school where I taught for 5 years. We knew that we still had several years to figure out if we could make the hour trek -- each way, two times a day for T to go there...
Last year we made the decision to hold T back from kindergarten since he is a boy and a summer baby. This year, having him in Pre-K has provided one more year to pray, discuss and decide what we are going to do with T and his education.
Although having him going to a private school would be awesome and fulfill a long-time dream of ours, both the high cost of tuition (especially times 3 kids) and the commute made the decision for us. We simply cannot afford the cost, and we do not feel right going into debt to achieve this dream.
Also, not only would the drive be really taxing on T but on the other 2 boys and myself...and that all weighs in the decision. His friends would not live close and any outside involvement would not be possible. Both these are important to consider too.
We do not feel God is calling us to move at this time, and for the time being, this door is closed.
The public school where we live is average. Not the highest scoring in testing but not the lowest either.
Another alternative that several of my dear friends have chosen is to homeschool their children. Thus providing them with the high standards and values that can be found in a private Christian school. It's been great to witness them walk through that journey and see them live out their calling to do so. For me though, this is not the path that I feel I can take on, (nor does my husband desire this path for us).
It's now been almost 6 years since I began wrestling with this decision about T's education and where it would lead. I honestly can not think of a subject in my prayer life that has been more revisited and not answered with the deep peace of the Lord.
With the circumstances as they are, the decision has been made for us. Public it is.
My husband has had a deep peace about this. T will be with the kids in our neighborhood and several friends from preschool. He will been given an amazing opportunity to shine the light of Jesus to everyone at school -- many who do not know of Jesus and His deep love for them. T has such a love for sharing with others about Jesus and this will be a wonderful chance for him.
But I still felt like I have been asking, "God, how can this path You have chosen for us be good?".
As I recently sat in church -- and once again wrestled with this very subject -- something new came to me. It was the vision of what it would look like for me sending my little boy off to a private school each day contrasting me sending my little boy off to our public school down the road.
It was as though the Lord whispered to me, "This unknown will indeed keep you on your knees for your T abundantly more than if you had him surrounded by teachers and kids that love Jesus and you knew exactly what he was being taught, (having taught K, 1st and 3rd at a private school, I do KNOW what he would be learning)...and THAT reliance on Me, my child, is GOOD."
As we drove home last Sunday I said to my husband, as the lightbulb finally went on in my thick head, "God's right! (I'm smiling that I was surprised by this truth!) God knows me well! I'm sure I would have just put it on cruise control and not felt the need to pray as fervently for T next year if he is placed in a private school setting instead of a public one".
This is when the peace finally flooded over me.
Perhaps this path won't be easy and is a huge leap of faith but I know that this is the path God chosen for us. It's not the same path that God has chosen for every family and may not be the path that we will always be asked to take...
It's still not as I would choose, but that's ok. And it really will be ok.
What about you? Where do you stand on this issue and why?
11 comments:
So glad you are at peace with your decision. :)
JA-
As you know I have older children who have been in school quite some time - Jackson is now in 5th grade and Blake is second grade!!! Let me offer you this.
As a former teacher myself, I'm quite picky about my children's education. We all think that private is the way to go - the way to the best education. But sadly, this is not 100% so. Private teachers don't make as much money as public - public teachers have to have a master's in education while private do not - and there are state standards in public education that are constantly being evaluated and refined and reformed.
The next thing is that I BELIEVE the success of children is not in the school they attend, but in the involvement of the parents. With that said, I have always volunteered in their classrooms, been involved with the PTA board, and know the teachers, principals, and fellow parents. I know who my children go to school with. I see their work and compare it with the other childen's work when I correct the papers and assign reading books (when I help the teachers). I sneak moments to discuss my boys' progress with their teachers and any issues with them (and rarely do they have issues). Because of this repetoire I have in the school, their teachers and principal feel comfortable to speak freely with me on any small minor issue (and like I said, they are rare). My boys are excelling in school and I'm glad they are in public school. I don't want them to in an environment where they are not challenged emotionally and spiritually - that is the world. They need to grow and learn how to be prepared to live in the "real world" not the Christian bubble world.
I believe there is a lot of value to going to your neighborhood school. The children can walk/bike to school (learn responsibility that way) and the friends they make are within walking distance because it is in their neighborhood. I LOOOOOOVE this fact about going to our neighborhood school. Often, they will make plans at school to hang out wtih friends, walk home all together and after homework/snack, they go right outside and play with their buddies right outside our door. No driving to playdates and school activities. We walk up to the school for choir and band concerts, I walk the children on a daily basis to school giving me opportunities to get outside and chat wtih them about their school days.
Now keep in mind that this is solely my belief and my position and I do respect most other's position on their children and their choices for their education. I just wanted to share with you my experience and my peace about the boys and to tell you that public can definitely work!
http://happyhelms.com/maryanne/?cat=39
A great series of comments by Maryanne Helms on the subject of public school.
JA - I don't know if you remember Maryanne Helms from ECPC but this is her blog. I always find great encouragement from her writings.
i LOVE this post, JA! we had the same struggles and discovered God's peace in many of the same ways two years ago when we made the public school decision for lucy. and it DOES keep me on my knees, which is right where God wants me! i would echo much of shannan's comment, in that YOUR involvement in T's education is as important or even moreso than that of the school. if you volunteer in the classroom, help throw holiday class parties, or just chat with other moms at pick-up, you will be influencing T and his classmates AND your neighborhood in a positive and God-honoring way.
Thank you, sweet friends, for taking the time to encourage and share your opinions. Your encouragement means so much and carries me far.
I LOVE having Emma in public school. I may say that as a public school teacher because I've always thought it would be hypocritical to send my child to a private school when I teach in a public school. (It's good enough for "them" but not for "us.") There are issues/problems at every school, and I firmly believe that with your involvement, T will not suffer in any way being in a public school. I am thrilled with the education Emma is getting and love that she goes to school with all of our neighbors. That being said, I never contemplated a private school for various reasons so that probably influences my thinking as well. I'm glad you've found peace with your decision and hope you end up happy with it! The good news is, if you end up unhappy, you can always revisit your decision and make a new one. :)
Hey Sweet Sis,
I DEFINITELY know how hard this decision is!! We desperately wanted to put the kids in a Christian school, but that wasn't an option. We had several friends who home school asking why we didn't pick that route, but for me I knew it wasn't the best for my kids at this point -- they learn better from someone else and I don't think that is what the Lord wanted at this time. But what a blessing our school has been. The kids can't imagine being anywhere else, and at the moment, neither can I. Is the drive tiresome? Yes. But then I remember that this is where God wants them and get in the car and do it one more day. Take heart, the Lord will lead you each step of the way. He wants the best for Taylor too.
Here's where I stand: I think wherever the Lord wants you is the perfect place to be! I am so glad that you waited on the Lord and know what He wants. I know God will bless you as you seek to honor Him. Much love to you! Can't believe your little one is already going to big school!!
JA, I am so glad that you have found peace in your decisions! We never considered private school, as we have always just felt our kids need to be in public. Some friends and I have started a Bible Club at our kids' school after school on Wednesdays. Talk about giving us and our kids an opportunity to be a light! We are able to be examples of GOd's love to the teachers and staff and other kids as well as our own! I believe that is where Jesus would be. :) Keep following your heart and continuing to seek God's will. You can't go wrong!
What wonderful comments from everyone! I am definitely PRO public school, however I'm also a public school teacher:) I'm so happy that you are happy with your decision and I'm sure with your involvement he will blossom where ever he is!!!
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