A {Little} Different Kind of Reward...

As the difficult days stretched on and on with our strong-willed 5 year old, I was willing to try something "outside the box" to serve as a motivator for better behavior...

Several weeks ago when P was at his buddy's birthday party, he saw little toys that really caught his eye.

Thanks to this experience, we've entered the fun world of Squinkies!  The great thing about these cute little guys is that they come in a pack with several different characters that he can collect over time.  

We've termed the box as our "bank".  When P makes great strides towards first time obedience , refraining from unkind words or is respectful to others (not spitting, punching, etc.), he makes his way to earning a little Squinkie of his choice.  

Now, the part he dislikes, (but is highly effective!), is that if there is a lack of 1st time obedience, unkind words used or hurting of others, he has to "pay" us one of his little guys back.  Then, he can work on earning that little guy back.

As you can see, we've gotten through an entire package!!  Many great days under his belt and little trophies to show for his great choices!  Yay!!

It's been SO successful (taking me a bit by surprise!) that we now have a new problem...we're working now on trying to be creative and stretch these Squinkies a bit further so that we're not spending $12 every 12 days!

Here sits an empty box, symbolic of amazing efforts put forth by P.  :)

2 different things I'd like to remember from this learning experience to be able to share with P in years to come:

1. The first 3 days were quite exciting and the motivation had never been higher!  I really was shocked just how much effort P put forth to "go the extra mile" in obedience and kindness to myself, Daddy and his brothers.  However, on day 4, Little Prince did something to bother P and like a default setting, P punched him -- hard.

As we were talking through this, he knew that there are NO 2nd chances when hurting others.  One Squinkie was surrendered immediately.  As the frustration set in, he screamed at me and used inappropriate words ("Poopy Mommy").  Once again, the 2nd hard earned little treasure was lost.  Then, within an hour, P punched me.  All 3, very hard earned Squinkies, were gone -- in one morning.

I wondered if I was coming down too hard on him.  I was also surprised how heart broken P and I both were to see and feel such anguish over these 3 treasures lost.

That was a month ago, that was the last difficult morning I've had with him since we started this new system!  :)  Hard lesson seems to have been learned.

2. There have been several days when his behavior is not extreme defiance but is also not "Squinkie-Worthy".  He has either not earned a Squinkie or has had to surrender a few, but never more than one in a day.  There is that moment that always hits him when he realizes that he now has to earn that already hard earned one back.

One day, last week, P had to surrender a Squinkie and I had forgotten to remove it out of his treasure box.  He told me that night, as I tucked him in (with the Squnkies right by his pillow in his bed with him), "You forgot to take this little guy.  Don't worry, Mommy, if you want, I'll put it somewhere and I won't play with that one at all until my behavior gets a lot better."  

His honesty and integrity touched a deep spot in my heart.  THIS is what we're working on!!  :)