There are many ways that we all fall short of perfection. "We" really meaning me.
There are numerous things that I know I should be doing but I willfully choose to not do them. Simply because I just don't want to.
Last year I did an extensive study of the Proverbs 31 woman. In this study I was deeply convicted about my attitude towards helping my husband and kids. There is one particular verse that says: " Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of his life."
Proverbs 31:11-12
If I really examine my life over this past year since I studied this verse, can I honestly say that I have "arrived"?
Not even close!
There's part of me that really wants to make this a reality in our home. Then there's another part of me that says,"that's not even attainable so why even put forth the effort?!".
I set out last year to make a concerted effort to keep up on the dishes, laundry, dusting, bathrooms, vacuuming, car, etc. A year later I can honestly say that all of the aforementioned tasks are on the forefront of my mind -- but I am still not accomplishing half of what I made it a goal to achieve each week.
Yes, I do have a very active toddler and pre-schooler, but there is time here and there throughout the week that I think I could achieve these if I really wanted to.
Much of the time I just don't want to. I am exhausted and find "better things" to do with my time.
I am so very human. There are parts of me that I am not proud of that are so ugly.
I long so much to do what I want to do -- and when I want to do it!
Yet I know that there really is a better way. When I do what God asks me to do, I really can bring good, not harm, to my husband, family and all who enter my house.
It's a decision I do have to make every day. Make that ALL day long! I get grumpy and I get selfish.
Let me be completely honest. Like a lot of others, I really dislike doing dishes and laundry! I even more than dislike cleaning toilets! And changing blow-out diapers stinks! Literally! There are more frustrating things in the life of a mom and a wife than I have time to describe. I am often exhausted all day long -- from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed. I sometimes go hours and hours without sitting down as I literally wait upon my kids, hands and feet.
So, there you have it.
My life is far from a bed of roses. It's really more like a briar patch full of entangled thorns. Roses do not bloom as often as I desire.
As lofty as this may appear, in my heart of hearts, I really long for my life to be a place where roses can not only take root, but reach full maturity -- filled to the brim with beauty and rich fragrance.
When I use my blog mostly to share about all the good things that are going on, it's only because I want to simply remember these treasures, not the 23 other hours that day that sometimes feel more like I'm knee high shoveling pungent manure than dancing in meadows filled with sweet smelling spring flowers.
Life is too short to dwell on the negative things that I can not change.
At the end of the day, I really do want to bloom where I am planted. I don't want to be hiding behind a perfect facade of a well-manicured garden. Instead, I want to be seeing past the weeds and searching for more precious portions of the garden worth noting.
This is my attempt to stop and smell the roses that surround me...and hopefully help others to do the same.
1 comment:
Girl, you sure did hit the nail on the head! Thanks for being honest, transparent, and vulnerable. Makes me feel not so alone in my 'other 23 hours' of each day to know you are in that kind of place, too.
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