Calm Mom Part 2: Gift of Words

As I began to reflect upon this week's focus of "Calm Mom" a theme kept coming up in my mind. It had to do with my words. We are given the gift of words. These should be used as a gift and blessing to others.

We are given the choice of 2 paths to take each day. One path may perhaps be easier and quicker for us but is often filled careless words, (and actions), that can even but hurtful to others around us. The other path is one that takes more effort and thought to walk down but will continually bring beauty to those walking with us if we take the time to speak with kindness.



Are my words a blessing to my boys all day long...especially when I have been awake 8 times through the night, (but who's counting?!), with a sick 2 year old and dealing with a husband who works long hours?

I began to simply LISTEN to myself talk to them. Funny concept, I know.

I feel like I'm so much on autopilot as we go about our day, "you need to get dressed, you need to go potty, you need to get our shoes on, you need to get in the car, etc." What I heard was a tired mom, often neglecting to find ways to gently and sweetly address an issue.

Now I do know that it would be exhausting, (and also unnecessary), to present everything "with whip cream and a cherry on top", i.e. "My sweetest little lamb, I would just love it if you could be a darling and trot, trot to get your cute little shoes on for me, precious sweet pea". :) (Although once in a while it could be fun just to see what would happen if I tried that!)

What I came up with was a form of that -- but a very watered down version. I have been intentionally trying to use the words "Buddy" or "Sweetie" before or after I phrase a directive to the boys. And, interestingly enough, it has really helped me to stay more positive while the conversation is going on with them. It may serve to remind them of how much they mean to me, but just as importantly, it serves as a great reminder to me of how precious they really are.

So, taking what I learned last week, (for all the teachers out there, I am scaffolding), about STOPPING before I react, now I am taking that moment to use my words as a gift to my children and my husband.

Dear Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing and a beautiful blessing to You and all who hear them. And when I need to, please help me to STOP before unkind words can escape. Thank you, Jesus!

~ As a side note, I wanted to mention that I think I was being put to the test many times this past week with my Week 1's challenge to STOP before I reacted to my children and my husband.

Between contracting conjunctivitis, sharing it with my husband, being up many nights with sick kids and my husband putting in long hours at work, my kindness was wearing thin. I did my best to STOP before I reacted and although I was far from where I want to be, I am making strides.

And today when our 4 year old's little elbow bumped his container of light bright pegs, sending at least half of them flying off the table -- unknowingly ushering them quickly on their merry way down the heater vent -- I am happy to say that I DID pause and think before I reacted. On the inside I was frustrated that we now only have half the amount of the colorful little pegs and was concerned that their presence in our heating system may not be a very good thing -- but I took a deep breath and was reminded that this is really not the end of the world. (Without that STOP I may have reacted as though it was.)

I did tell him that he needed to be a lot more careful not to bump the container and that it was a bit frustrating for me to see all of the pegs now gone. I felt really good, however, that I could tell him that it was frustrating without being unbelievably frustrated myself. :)