Day 5 Reflections

Last Friday we began the new adventure of a helmeted baby.

There have been some highs and lows so far... One of the biggest blessings to come out of this experience thus far has been getting connected with a really sweet gal, (a friend of a friend), who walked through this same scenario with her little girl in 2007.

Reading her blog entries "penned" in her adjustment as a mom has helped affirm what I am feeling is ok, even very normal.  My new friend even wrote a very sweet e-mail and said she was praying for us!

Another big blessing has been how well S did on the first couple of days!  Our little prince was an amazing champion, and did not even seem to notice.

We were instructed to ease our little prince into the adjustment of his helmet over a 5 day span.

Friday and Saturday went really well and S tolerated the placement of the helmet on and off the head with great ease, having just the awake times to get used to it.  (It was me that was painfully adjusting.)

Along came Sunday...Day 3...which required us to begin naps and nighttime with the helmet.  Naps were hard to come by and not long.  By nighttime he was overtired and it took several hours to get comfortable and finally fall asleep.

Monday, my sweet husband, seeing that I'm still struggling with embracing this new helmet, encouraged me to consider keeping the helmet off while we attended a wedding.  He foresaw that this would be an environment that would likely be filled with well-meaning but unhelpful remarks from strangers about seeing our baby in a helmet.

I am indeed grateful for my husband's wise guidance in this situation, and without the helmet we only managed to get the comment that he was a "beautiful baby girl", (although he was dressed in BLUE), from a wedding guest.

Last night, the moment I walked S into his room, he began crying hard since he knew he would be laid down in his crib.  He finally fell asleep for 1 sleep cycle and then began a hard cry again.

Our baby that has never had problems being laid right down to fall asleep on his own and never fights or cries about the ordeal, is now having to re-learn how to fall asleep.

Feelings of confusion, sadness and grief overwhelmed me, (all the while he's crying I was not able to cuddle him by holding his head close to mine, the way I always have before).

Once again, my loving husband helped encourage me and found a helpful entry on BabyCenter.com from a mom that explained the experience they had with a helmet as well...echoing the hard sleep adjustment as well as feelings as a mom.

The lump in my throat that remained logged in it's awkward position for days is finally gone...but tears still come and go.  Most of all it's the struggle to get comfortable while nursing and painful longing to hold him close to me are the most difficult to process.

I am, however, committed to the now 23 1/2 hours out of 24 hours a day in the helmet that are required to help his head.

Every parent is faced with decisions for their children that are seemingly harder for the parent than the child...I'm very thankful that we're promised that this one will be a silver lining and beautiful ending to this experience.