Today I had to take our baby to Children's Hospital so that he could have a gash above his eye stitched up. Things went as well as they possibly could in a situation such as this one. Thankfully, a good friend arrived at our house moments after he got hurt and without skipping a beat watched our 2 year old (and her 3 year old and infant) at our house for 4 hours as I hurried to the hospital with our baby. My wonderful husband met us and went with us. It was the exact support that we needed.
Today we had to see our sweet and undeserving baby swaddled with arms pinned down on the hospital table, then sedated, then get 3 stitches above his eye.
Today I felt SO awful as I watched our precious little one endure this pain. The most awful part was that I was the one that accidently hit our baby's head on the corner of the changing table as I bent down to throw a diaper away. It was MY fault. If he had crawled into a table and bumped his head on his own I would have felt really bad for him but not that unbearable guilt that rushed through me as I heard him cry out in pain. Thankfully, my husband was there to distract him during the proceedure by blowing bubbles and tell him it was going to be ok. (I had to sit on the side of the room where he could not see me otherwise he would wail at the sight of me.)
Today I accidently hurt my sweet, sweet baby. Today I feel SO guilty that he got hurt. Today I need to give this to the Lord above and release my guilt and shame. Only then can He then replace my horrible guilt with His amazing grace.
Today grace is so needed. Today grace can be given. It's up to me now. It's there for the taking...once I release the very thing I don't want any more.
Thank you, dear Lord for grace.
5 comments:
That is utterly horrible and I feel for you and Preston. All we want to do is protect our little ones and when something bad happens to them we feel terrible. Don't beat yourself up about it, we all make mistakes... Just remember, Preston is OKAY!!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that:(
Bless your heart. His grace is sufficient for you. But oh, that is so hard! I have certainly been there!
Julieanne -
I could go on for days about accidents I accidently caused my boys. Don't worry - they don't remember. And stress and guilt ages you, so please stop doing that! :)
I felt so bad for you when I heard about this! Now Brian and Pepin have something in common. Well, it's bound to happen sometime. Even in the short time I had Abby, I accidentally pinched her and she was NOT happy about it.
Oh that is horrible! But, I know how you feel. When Ethan was only 6 weeks old, I was walking down a friends staircase, fell, dropped the baby, and he slid down the stairs and landed on a hard wood floor face down. The worst day of my life! It took me a week to forgive myself. . . glad everything is okay!
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